Some Final Thoughts...

It has been a month since my last entry.  I am back home in Northern Michigan.  I don’t know where the time has gone, but every day seems completely full.  How on earth will I ever find the time to squeeze in a job?  In a couple of days I will be speaking at some of the local churches about my trip.   I’ve been trying to reflect on my entire journey and figure out how I can accurately describe the past 6 months in such a limited time.  After reading through many old journal and blog entries my mind is overloaded.  I doubt I will ever be able to share what my heart feels, but it will be interesting trying.   

A friend of mine commented that as they followed my blog they noticed at first I had this “conquer the world attitude”, but then my spirits seem to drop as I realized that no matter what I did the poverty and evil would always continue.  I think my friend was right.  I look back at my journal and remember a few entries where I felt utterly helpless and wasn’t sure how my presence in Africa could ever help anyone.  But somewhere along the way I felt at peace with my situation and realized that it was possible to make a tiny impact and that was sufficient enough.  Maybe that is all God wanted me to do there.   One tiny impact was more than I ever would have done back in America.  On my final day, Kuyasa had a little going away gathering for me and some people spoke about how I helped them.  I had no idea.  Here I was feeling like I didn’t really help anyone because I couldn’t see any results.  I quickly learned that the impact I had on a few individuals helped all of the other people that they worked with, which rippled down to help others and so on....  What a simple theory.  Be kind and helpful to everyone because more than likely they will be kind and helpful to the next person and then the kindness can spread like an infectious good disease.  

Speaking of diseases, before I went to South Africa I never quite understood how crime, poverty and HIV could be so prevalent in a country.  Like most sheltered northern Michiganders I was pretty ignorant growing up in my safe little environment.  We didn’t even use locks on our high-school lockers.  That part of my journey was very tough and still hurts my heart to think about everything.  Kids grow up witnessing sex, violence and alcoholism on a very personal and serious level.  They are affected by it daily and abused in ways we could never imagine.  Those kids grow up thinking that is normal and never understand what a healthy family might be like.  Sadly, many of the teenagers get pregnant very early on and find themselves in a complicated financial situation and struggle.  The father of the child generally leaves the pregnant girl and she ends up a single mother with yet another baby in a shack, growing up without a chance.  The cycle continues. 

On a positive note, some of my favorite memories were at the camps where I was able to bond with the children and teenagers away from that environment.  At these camps away from the township we were together 24/7, sleeping in the same bunk rooms for days at a time.  We shared the same bathroom and showers, ate the same food, played the same games and shared very personal stories.  We were all equal.  I grew to care for these children so much and it broke my heart even more when the bus returned and I got in my car to drive home to my safe, warm, clean house with running water and electricity - and they walked back down the dirt roads to their tiny little shacks.  Many times things felt so unfair and there was nothing I could do about it.   What a helpless feeling.

I think one of the most exciting parts of my journey was near the end when I was able to help Yandiswa get into college.  I can’t thank my friends enough for the support and the financial help.  Everybody had a part of this.  Anyone reading this blog now.  If you are reading it, then you are emotionally involved and I’m assuming you care about me and were praying for me over there.  Your prayers gave me the energy and courage to help this one child have a chance at a better life.  I prayed every night for God to help me find a way.   And he answered.  He always does.  That was amazing and I cried many times with Yandiswa.   Happy tears.  Sad tears.  More happy tears. Good-bye tears.   Yandiswa and I are keeping in touch through emails.  She is doing very well in her classes and loving every minute of being a college student.  She tells me all about the friends she is making, how much she is enjoying her classes and I can see her confidence growing.  It’s so incredible.

Some people have asked if I regret quitting my job.  The answer is no.  Not at all.  I would do it all over again and couldn’t have asked for a better journey.  I felt God calling me to serve over in South Africa and although I was scared and at times crying with the decision at hand, I decided to listen (for once) and obey.  The experience was amazing.  I’ve never felt so many different emotions before.  It was a big leap of faith and I am very blessed to have had the opportunity to do such a thing.  At times it was scary, lonely and mentally challenging, but those times made me stronger and my trust and faith in God grew.  Our friendship grew.  I knew he was in control and would keep me safe.  The time away made me realize just how important my family is to me and how fortunate I am to have a family that loves me so very much.  The time away gave me such a fresh perspective on my life and everything that I always took for granted.  I feel very different now.  I had a lot of time to think and process my life.  It was a good thing for me.  I have peace now, and I would have never had that had I stayed in my job and never took this journey.  While I helped others God helped me. 

In my mission journal there was a paragraph that I high-lighted:  “Don’t ever let anyone convince you that you have no power.... All significant changes in the world start slowly, at a single time and place with a single action.  One man, one woman, one child stands up and commits to creating a better world.  Their courage inspires others, who begin to stand up themselves.  You can be that person.”  

Now I start another chapter in my life.  A little wiser, a little stronger, and a bigger heart.   I hope that some of my words throughout the past 6 months might have inspired you a little bit.  Maybe to consider all of your blessings or to spend more time with your loved ones.  I would highly recommend trying to go on some type of short term mission trip through your church.  I promise you that it will be life changing and you won’t regret it.   And if you don’t have that opportunity at least try to volunteer from time to time in your community.  So many people out there need a little help.  You never know how your tiny impact might change their lives, even if its just once.  Kindness is contagious. 

Thank you for all your prayers and support.  If anyone would like to contact me, my cell is: 704-996-5850.   I will be relocating to the Traverse City area and am happy to be giving Northern Michigan a try once again.  =)  

Much Love, 

Katie

Swim Lessons and New Beginnings

Only 5 days left.

This past week I had the honor of taking 25 of the Kayamandi students to one of our local pools for swim lessons.   During the first half I took pictures and enjoyed being the silent observer trying not to laugh.  The kids make me laugh with their comments or facial expressions, and just their excitement in general.  A few of the kids could swim and they were bored with the lesson, but most of them were afraid of the water and were eagerly listening to every instruction.  The life guards started with very basics while they held onto the wall.  They were taught how to hold their breath under water, how to kick, etc.  Very basic fundamentals.  It was fun to watch their confidence grow and slowly their little fingers peeled away from the wall and they would try to venture off a bit on their own.    

When the lesson ended, I gave the kids 45 more minutes of free swim time before we had to return to the bus.  I joined them and ended up back at the deep end where I now had 4 or so little guys wanting me to teach them how to dive again.  It was so much fun.  I will attach the swim pics to a Kodak photo link.   It was the kids final day of summer break before they resumed classes again.  My 7th graders were sad that I wasn’t going to be teaching them anymore since they were now 8th Graders.  I didn’t have the heart to tell them that I was leaving anyway.   I need to take care of that tiny sad detail this week.   

The most EXCITING part of my week was taking Yandiswa to get registered and enrolled into MSC College where she will be studying International Bookkeeping for (hopefully) the next 3 years.  I was so thankful that I had called ahead to get an appointment set up, because while we entered the college we witnessed lines of students waiting to meet with anyone about trying to get into MSC.  Apparently there was an overflow of about 200 students this year from the Universities that had thought they were “in” and got their acceptance letters, but when they went to go register for their classes the Universities had no knowledge of them applying and no record of their payment.   This sort of situation happens a lot in South Africa, so it was very sad to see these kids faces as they were desperate.   Because I had the appointment set up, we walked right in and for the next 2 hours we took care of the necessary paper work, fees, student ID, classes, etc, etc.   Once Yandiswa had heard the 200 students didn’t get in, I could see the color drain from her face and she was very nervous.  She assumed the same would happen to her.  But after some gentle explanations I finally calmed her nerves and she realized that this was really happening for her.  

After we got her college shirt and book bag we were finally finished and could leave.  We walked silently down the staircase.   As I glanced over at her I could see this tiny grin where she was just starting to take it all in and realize what had happened.   A New Beginning.   We exited the building and she started jumping up and down screaming and laughing and smiling.  So I started jumping up and down, screaming and laughing and almost crying.  We hugged and hugged and shouted.  I had to tell everyone on the streets that passed us that “She was going to COLLEGE!”  I took some pictures of her as she was still celebrating.  It was an awesome moment!  Unexplainable.  

Afterwards I took her for a celebration lunch so she could get her favorite Spur burger.  She could relax and I could tell that the build up of nerves had finally reached her and she was exhausted. We both were actually.  We started yawning and laughing.   Sadly, it was our last lunch together, so after lunch we sat and I gave her a “Going to College” bag of goodies.  She started to cry and that made me so sad.  I was trying very hard to keep it together.  She cried and said that she didn’t know how to ever thank me or my friends that helped make this happen.  I told her not to thank me and that she needed to thank God, because all of this was a gift from God.  Not me.  I was just the messenger.  I told her that we would email every week so she could tell me how things were going and that I could send her letters and pictures from the states.   I tried to cheer her up the best I could.  I could see that she didn’t want the day to end and I asked her if she wanted to do anything else before I took her home.  We decided to see the Disney movie “Secretariat”.    It was a nice movie and ended our day on a brighter note.   On the way home she was rejuvenated once again because she couldn’t wait to go tell the 7 people she lived with the good news.   I couldn’t believe she already hadn’t done that, so when I asked her why not, she replied “Because I was afraid it wouldn’t really happen and I didn’t want to get their hopes up.”   She was happy when I dropped her off and ran back to her shack to show everyone her new book bag and college shirt!   That made me feel better. (For those of you who helped support her, I will be sending you a personal thank you letter from her and a picture.  She wrote up a very nice one. )

I drove out of the township realizing that this week I would be leaving her for the final time and I did get sad.  I try to keep my crying for alone times.  I get so sick of good-byes in my life.  I keep thinking I should be used to these and my heart would toughen up a bit, but it never seems to happen.  This week will be a tough one.  I’ve grown to love these kids, the staff and the Kayamandi community in general.  It will be a tough Thursday when I say my final good-bye.  The hardest time will be with my new Afrikaans friends and 3 flat mates whom I’ve grown so close to in such a short amount of time.  I haven’t lived with any girls since college back in ’98 so this was quite a new experience.   I was afraid I was set in my ways since I’ve lived alone for so many years, but surprisingly I loved it and it worked well.  I always have someone to talk to and to laugh with.  It has been nice not having to talk to myself.  Someone’s always laughing, cooking or serving tea.  It’s a wonderful thing.  And without realizing it the Afrikaans words have seeped into my regular vocabulary.  I now catch myself using words like:  Lakker, brilliant, pleasure, divine, hectic, shucks, shame, robots, boot, bucky and serviettes.   I’m going to come back to America driving on the wrong side of the road and sounding like a crazy woman.   I guess some things never change.

I return home to Michigan on Friday.  This will probably be my last post until I’m back.  I’m sure during the 23 hours of travel I will have many thoughts and reflections for my friends and family about this wonderful journey.   I look so forward to being able to see or speak to you all again.  

One final request... please pray that I have safe flights and return back to my family in one piece.  =)

Love, Katie

Back to Work

Oh my word.  I forgot how loud working in a township was.  The December holiday was a wonderful mental break, but I probably would have been better off not getting that “quiet time”.  Before holiday I had adjusted to the noise level of the screaming children, the loud music and the adults whose conversations seemed more like yelling than talking.  I don’t know how, but I managed to tune it all out, put a smile on my face, do my job and have fun with everyone.  Now I’m back to work and it is like starting all over with the headaches and tension again.  As I drove home all last week I enjoyed the complete silence in a glazed over fog.  I was exhausted and weak with no energy.  It felt like when I first arrived in August and was completely overwhelmed and on the verge of tears everyday.  It still amazes me how all of the people in the township sleep through the noise or ever feel rested with any quiet time.  I have no idea how the kids ever study.  I’m so impressed with the few that somehow manage to graduate high-school and continue their education.   We really do take our quiet time for granted.   

Anyway, enough of the noise, let me tell you what I have been doing.  Last week we opened Kuyasa and were over-loaded with a huge donation of office furniture from a local company that had shut down.  I was needed upstairs in the main class room rearranging all the new cabinets and desks.  I spent many of hours sorting through books that had been donated and figuring out what to keep, what was garbage and what I could take to the township library.  I love to organize and clean so I was very much in my element - but unfortunately, there is no A.C. at Kuyasa, so the intense summer heat penetrates through the plastic sky windows and the room feels like one giant sauna.  We could only stand about 2 hours at a time before we were sweating so bad and felt dehydrated.  We escaped to the computer lab on the ground floor, which was a bit cooler.  For the rest of the week I worked on admin projects and some of the 2011 curriculums, trying to get them finished before classes resumed. 

The kids return this week and I can only imagine how crazy it is going to be.  They have been on holiday break for almost a month and half now without any classes or discipline.  We will probably get sore throats this week trying to talk over their yelling and get them to sit down and pay attention.  I think I will need to pray very hard every day for God to bless me with loads of patience!   My saving Grace is that mid week I can break from the noise and take the curriculums to the University to get bound and walk around to tape up posters to recruit student volunteers.   Another exciting break from classes is that I am and taking a group of 25 students to the recreation center pool for official swim lessons and practice time.  The coolest part of the week though is on Thursday when I will finally take Yandiswa to MSC College to enroll and get her class schedule.  Although I don’t have all the funds raised yet, I have enough to get her started, which is awesome.  Since she will be taking the train in each day I am going to help her find the station, the correct stop and make sure she knows exactly where to walk and how to get to her classes.  It should be so exciting for her.  I can’t wait.  She is very sad about me leaving, but I think once she starts her classes she will be so busy that she won’t have time to miss me.  That is a good thing.

I will be sure to take some pictures of the swim lessons and enrolling Yandiswa.  I will try to post them next week with my blog.

One more week to go.

Less than 3 weeks......

Happy 2011 my friends!  

My apologies on how long it has been since I updated my blog.  Seeing as though I now only have 2.5 weeks remaining in South Africa I better get to updating you a few more times before returning to America.  So much to catch you up on!

First, to clear up some serious false assumptions, my friend George (Alexis) and I are not a couple.  Never have been, never will.  We are simply best friends of 10 years who travel and vacation very well together.  We pick on each other, laugh at each other, cry together and bug the crap out of one another, and all of this with absolutely no physical benefits.   Come to think of it, I guess we are technically like an old married couple.   Anyway, Alexis took the great opportunity to visit South Africa and his best friend who he knew was very sad missing her family over the holidays.  (thank you pumpkin)  So the guy you see in these “Garden Route” pictures is my good friend Alexis, not some new South African boyfriend.   Sorry ladies.

Our road trip was both relaxing and adventurous.  It was uneventful on the safety part and eventful on the fun category.  Perfect combination.  I sent some of you a link to part one and two of the pictures.  If you didn’t get a chance to look at them I will post the links on my blog.  We started in Cape Town where I could enjoy being a tourist, then we followed the southern coast “Garden Route” East to Port Elizabeth.  Part way through we detoured north to Outsdhoorn where we enjoyed the Cango Caves, a waterfall and some wildlife.  I braved my life riding an Ostrich which unfortunately wasn’t captured too well with pictures since the dang bird was moving too quick.  I wish I would have taped a video camera onto my head.  HILARIOUS.  Thankfully the little South Africans ran behind so that when I did fall off, they could catch me before I broke any bones.  

Being the over-planner that I am, I had planned out the route staying in the most inexpensive back-packer hostel type lodging with my next to nothing unemployed salary.  With most every booking I had reserved separate twin beds when possible.  This posed no issues until some silly folks thought they would be kind to upgrade us to a double bed (obviously thinking we were a couple).  I thoroughly enjoyed playing the Crazy American woman, making a scene and demanding two beds making it look like Alexis did something horrible and was in the dog house.  “OH No you DON’T... you are NOT sleeping anywhere close to me tonight!  Get your own bed!”  Some managers would look at me like I was an angry bitter old woman and gave Alexis the “Oh you poor guy” look.  Of course I always enjoy embarrassing Alexis, so this was a fun part of the holiday. 

Mother Nature apparently didn’t like my plans so the days that were designated as beach days usually rained and turned into a movie or curio shopping days.  Two of the unfortunate rainy days were in Jeffreys Bay which is one of the top 5 surfing destinations in the world.  I was supposed to be admiring good looking surfer dudes, looking for my future husband on those days.  Instead I found myself acting crazy once again and decided to get a 2 hour surf lesson.  Sharks?  What Sharks?   I had myself convinced that the Great Whites didn’t like the rainy weather either.  Of course the day I pick to learn how to surf the wind was severely hectic and the waves were crashing in like crazy.  This seems like ideal surfing conditions, but not for one trying to learn and make it out past the break to a calm spot to turn the big, clumsy, learner surf board around.  Man do I have a new respect for surfers!  Oh my word, it is much harder than it looks.  I did manage to get up a few times and felt a tiny rush of excitement.  But honestly I spent more time coughing up salt water and getting the hair out of my eyes.   I still have all my limbs so overall I think it was a great day!

I won’t bore you with all of the holiday adventures.   It was a wonderful trip.  You can check out the photos to see the places we visited and ask me for stories later.  I will be home soon.  The monkeys were adorable, the elephants were so amazing and the best part was that we made it back home to Somerset West safely without killing one another.  That in itself was a miracle.  

On the drive home I was reflecting on my little vacation and realized how quick we forget the blessings we have.  I felt guilt as I was complaining about the horrible, uncomfortable 3” mattresses and pillows that you could see through and literally needed to tri-fold for any cushion support.  At the very last place we were fed up with the hostel conditions, tired and a bit cranky from the stupid young kids drinking till wee hours in the morning and making so much noise. (gosh I’m getting old)  We made a mutual decision that despite our budget challenges, we would use our credit cards and end the final 2 days of vacation on a high note by staying in an actual hotel with the luxuries and comforts of the typical American life.  Two huge beds with down comforters, pillows and air condition.  There were little bottles of shampoo and conditioner.  A little fridge.  A garden tub. Dark drapes over the sliding glass door. A TV with movie channels. We were in heaven.   How quick did I fall back into wanting the comforts and feeling like I deserved those just because I slept on some crappy mattresses for 2 weeks?  Who the heck am I?  We complained about the previous lodging, but in reality we were spoiled with a roof over our heads, running water, a shower and our own toilets.  We didn’t have 7 other people packed onto the two twin beds in the hot summer African heat.  We were fortunate to have enough savings to actually go on a road trip and experience so many amazing things.  We saw the most beautiful mountains and scenery, the type you see in movies and wish that you could be there.  We had so many blessings and saw more in our 2 weeks then most Africans would see in their entire life time.  

As I quietly drove home, I mentioned my thoughts to Alexis and the fear that I would forget it all, slip back into my old ways and take all of my blessings for granted.  My weeks are limited now and the fear of reality is slipping back.   All the questions in my head once again..... what will I do?  Where will I live?  What job will I get?   How do I keep this experience fresh in my mind?  Then of course I felt bad that I was even thinking about those silly things since I know that no matter where I end up or what work I eventually find, that my living conditions will probably be 100% better than most people in South Africa.   If I end up living in a trailer park with my double-wide it would be heaven compared to my friends in the township.   That thought made me smile and I snapped out of it and quit thinking selfishly about my future and knew I needed to concentrate on my remaining days here and my children.  

Before Alexis left I took him into the township for a quick drive-thru tour.  I’m not really sure what Alexis thought of the township.  We weren’t able to visit Kuyasa as they were still closed and gated.   He was quiet and taking it all in.  He laughed as I had to swerve around the many kids, dogs, and adults who just walk down the middle of the street and assume you won’t hit them.  Like usual I would slam on my brakes as children ran in front of my vehicle chasing one of their balls or empty plastic 2-liters.  I avoided the drunk swaying guys who also enjoy hogging the road.  All was normal in the township.  We picked up Yandiswa and took her out for a nice lunch so Alexis could get to know her a bit.  After dropping her back off in the township, we heard a yell “Sis Katie!!”  and saw 3 of my 7th graders running to my car.  I rolled down my window and they each gave me a great big hug and were happy to see me.  I smiled and knew God was sending me a little message that everything was going to work out just fine.  No worries.

Now I am back to work at Kuyasa and the remaining 3 weeks at work are packed with many activities getting Kuyasa ready for 2011 school year.  I will be working on typing up new curriculums, painting, cleaning, organizing and starting up classes next week with the children.   On a Yandiswa update..... I just received confirmation from Lead to Serve (the NGO) and am HAPPY to share that I am very close to my goal of raising a full years tuition for her!  Unbelievable.  My prayers have been answered.  Thank you to the 13 who have confirmed and sent in money for her!  I promise you this, you are helping to change this girls life.  She has a chance at a real future now.  You guys ROCK.  Thank you!!   I am waiting for the transfer of funds this week so that I can take Yandiswa to the college next week and get her all registered and set up for classes.  She is very excited and I am anxious to get everything in order for her.   There is still time for those of you who may have wanted to contribute but haven’t gotten around to it.  I am still in need of roughly $400 to reach my goal.   Any little bit helps.   Email me if you would like the details regarding the account I have set up. 

Another update to come next week.   Tick, tock, tick, tock....